Ask and you shall be given.

Houston, we have a problem.

So last september when i went through a break up my weight plummeted to 39kg. Because the thought of the two of them made me sick and lost all appetite and I even vomited bile. I even tumblred about it.

But right now I’m +10 of that (why this sudden honesty, i don’t know). Because I decided to live life better and love myself more and have my regular meals so that I’ll be healthy and live a long happy life. What better than to show them that I’m living life the best I can, eh?

But of course i’m just kidding. It’s the cold. The -20degrees celsius winter. The freaking cold in Saskatoon made me forever hungry so i was constantly nomming food. It didn’t help that most of the time I was just lying on my bed watching the 146 episodes of running man. Neither did it help that shin ramyeon was my staple food. Or mac’s. Or A&W. Or Harvey’s. Because we have coupons for them and I was just plain lazy. I also didnt have my greens. Because for some strange reasons North America sells only broccoli. Or some random chinese vegetables that cost a ton and that we left in the fridge to rot before remembering about it. And then cooking it the same way we cook all other dishes (=oyster sauce). Not forgetting that my gym attendance was once out of every ten times i swore I’d go. And that 1/10 time I went, I ran for ten minutes before deciding that Ive had enough for the day and went back to seager to nom more food.

Maybe I should have partied more to dance away those fats. Maybe I should have drank more since I regurgitate my dinner whenever I drink (like, a lame can of 4.5% alcohol drink). Maybe I should have slapped you. Okay no just kidding. I dont really give a shit right now except I’m in a extremely chatty soliloquy mood. 

I try not to look into full length mirrors too often now because i have elephanthighs. that’s why my photos only have my round hamster-like face. because no matter what a round face is still cuter than a ginormous thigh. 

I NEED TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT OMO. okay, end of rant.

Calm my unsettled heart

No others,

only you.

And suddenly we’re down to the last 3 nights in lil Sasktown

Has it really been four months since I’ve been here? I can distinctly remember how down we were on our first day here, having to walk from Seager to campus in the frigid cold to draw our apartment keys. The very first thing we asked each other was, “what are we doing here?” =( I thought I’d be happy to leave Saskatoon after 4 months but as I was walking down Broadway tonight and taking in all the sights and sounds of Sasktown, I was actually feeling pretty blue about it. 

I remembered having doubts about coming to U of S for exchange. But I realized I made the right choice because honestly, who in their right minds would come here for a holiday!? Not that it’s bad but if you compare it to the major Canadian cities and next door neighbour Alberta, there’s really  nothing much you can do here like, you know. At least I can boast that I’m one of those who’ve lived here for 4 months no less. ^^

I guess I’ll really miss being in this apartment and having my own room. I’ll miss hiding in my room watching running man and fangirling to suju (I LOVE YOU SUJU). I’ll miss cooking with Syaz and going to school with her and having HTHT sessions while (stupidly) waiting 45 minutes for the bus in the senseless cold and mostly, just annoying her. I’ll miss flipping through newspapers and brochures looking for the best deals at Sobey’s or Superstore. I’ll miss grocery shopping, comparing prices and having random strangers send us home. I”ll miss 50min lectures and having #imsoasian moments. I’ll miss Tim Hortons and his Frenchies, shit they’re delicious. I’ll miss hanging out with the Malaysians on the weekends and going around looking for food in restaurants that arent opened for business. I’ll miss my friends from all over Asia and Europe. This town, I’ll miss a lot. 

I’m glad that I didn’t give up on the chance for this exchange; that the breakup happened right before I came.Because I wouldn’t have enjoyed myself otherwise. 

Why do you go away? So that you can come back. SO that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving

Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

“Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving”. After this short stint overseas, I’ve come to realize that Singapore will forever be my home (damn drama sia wahlao). Singapore, however congested; hot; humid; boring; whatever; will forever be my home. Singapore with all her good and all her bad, will always be my home. I may wanna go away, but I will always wanna come back. It’s gonna be about another month before I fly home, but I’ll go home a better person. Three weeks after going home I’ll be spending another 5 weeks in China. Essentially, more than half the year will be spent away from Singapore. Yes, 2013 is indeed a wonderful year. 

And Saskatoon, thnks fr th mmrs. 

Life is a peculiar thing. 

Believe in the law of attraction. I shall go to sleep with happy thoughts and wake up with happy thoughts. 

Think happy and positive things will happen. 

*chants*

make it happen

I finally kinda have a sensing of what I wanna do with my life. It seems pretty hard, though. But this coming final year in school i’ll work hard to achieve it. 

I’ll make it happen.

I’m SO into these guys these couple of days. I’m slow, I know. But hey, it’s better than never, not my fault i got into Kpop fandom this late. So i’ve just about watched every program they’ve ever been on and learnt everything there is about them. OKay no, i havent watched them all that’s why i’m not studying because i’m busy catching up on the 7 lost years i didn’t realize they existed. this extent of fangirling reminds me of the Twins. The last time i fangirl-ed like this, it was ten years ago and till now im a big fan of my SAbaby =’) It’s okay though because these boys are definitely worth my time. I have a hard time ranking my favourites because each of them is just special in their own way. OMG i cringe at my own words but it’s true. I need to marry one of them now.

excuse me while i daydream. ANYTHING BUT STUDY ARGH.